yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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