My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
honey bunches of taint.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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