Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
