By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
There's always time for handjobs
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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