there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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