so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
