Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
