I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
