I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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