how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
