my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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