standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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