just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
