I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
