By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
my poor anus
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
