Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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