he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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