all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
