He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
The Olympian is in my bed
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
