i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
