U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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