His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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