Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
In other news, I just burned my penis
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
