Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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