dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
