I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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