do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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