So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
