seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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