Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize