my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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