he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
