@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
