Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
