My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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