Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
