We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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