My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
