Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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