shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
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