i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize