I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize