If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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