Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize