Non-Jews are for practice
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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