YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
