OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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