i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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