I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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