So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
