We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize