she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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