Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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