the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
