It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
