tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
