Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
